By Jennifer Beasley.
Beguiling, bewitching and bejewelled, Piper’s Playhouse is Melbourne’s best and newest TOP destination for indulgent glamour and incredible artistry.
*NB Strictly 18+
Diva. Burlesque. Magic. Circus. Contortionist.
Champagne.
Storming into Melbourne with glitz and style is the must-see Piper’s Playhouse, a bespoke Parisian Cabaret Club located in the heart of Crown.
Supported by Piper-Heidsieck Champagne, this enormously entertaining cabaret will whisk you away to Montmartre and celebrate artistic talent that echoes a sumptuous bygone era.
However, and please stay with me, I’d like to give a bit of background for context as it’s not only interesting, but does answer the question, why is a Champagne Maison hosting this event?
Founded in 1785, German Floren-Louis Heidsciek began his Maison. Once he passes, it is taken over by his nephew and then upon his death, brilliantly managed by his widow Olive Heidsieck. When she marries in 1838 to Henri-Guillaume Piper, the Maison reaches its definitive name of Piper-Heidsieck.
What does that have to do with the cabaret?
Well, aside from the champagne becoming the preferred drink of royalty, and its global reach from China to America (even during the prohibition in the early twentieth century and loved by Hollywood), the brand is then re-imagined in the 1990’s by Jean-Paul Gautier, with the black bottles dressed in red corsets and becomes the avoir du of celebrities, artists and all things fabulous Darling! And thus, the colour theme, and the strong links to cabaret and entertainment, were formed.
In my opinion, Piper’s Playhouse is a coup for the Crown Entertainment team, Melbournians and the marvellous production house, Velvick Inc (Venue, set design and concept by Tom Velvick and who also handles Bernie Dieter’s Club Kabarett. Bernie was also attending on the night).
Now, onto le cabaret!
Discretely tucked behind The Baci Café (Riverwalk), the old Chinese Restaurant has been revamped into a red velvet curtained maze, that seduces the senses as you pass through covered booths that hide peep shows (a tantalising and tasteful glimpse of the performing artists), confessional boxes and loads of Piper-Heidsieck on display.
Emerging from this lush corridor, the hostess (the lovely Ash) walks you to your seating. In my case I have ringside seats, and the cosy round table is quietly lit with a Parisian lamp, in keeping with the theme.
Of course, there are other seating or standing only arrangements. My table is mandatory to contain the choicest of foods; oysters, lobster cocktail and the best desert I have ever eaten! More on that later.
Then, there is the champagne.
Amazing. No headache afterwards (something I usually get but such is the quality that I felt fabulous. Nothing to do with how much I drank!)
Upon arrival the drink tokens are given into a discrete booth, where a gloved hand receives them and then returns with the drinks. Marvellous!!
The magnetic MC, Valerie Hex, expertly hosts the night, bedecked in the most fabulous hat I’ve ever set eyes on, an almost Flemish cap with sky high feathers and a sexy red stole that would make Marilyn Monroe cry with envy.
Accompanied by the toe-tapping jazz rhythms of the Jake Amy Trio, the captivating Jimi The Kween brings her powerful vocals to stage.
A Superstar. A Diva.
Jimi The Kween is a well-respected and world renown Drag performer. She is beguiling, and her many costume changes and quick wit meant the crowd instantly adored her. So beautiful. If only I was 6 feet.
Competing with Jimi for total diva stardom is: The Burlesque Bombshell.
Wow! What else can I say? Bejewelled and beautiful, Diesel Darling is the pearl dripping manifestation of high glamour and athletic stamina. With delicate grace combined with her inventive tease burlesque routine, Diesel oozes an erotic sensuality that catapults her into the realms of a Goddess yet still conducting herself with humour and dignity. A gracious performer.
But no cabaret is complete without The Magician.
Busting out his sleigh of hand card tricks, Sebastian Rideaux (Mr Marmalade) performs with gusto on the main stage. For me it was somewhat hard to visual the acts, and I would have loved to have seen him perform on the ring side stage.
For a surprising performance: Bubble Magic.
The bewitching Becky Bubble just about steals the show. Her bubble blowing skills, from making bubbles within bubbles, conjuring smoke from bubbles, and producing giant bubbles, elicits that child from within us all, and her dreamy, calm movements are hypnotic to watch. However, there is more!
Enter the Circus Performer.
Naz Turner, with a classy 1920’s moustache, astounds us all as he balances on towering champagne glasses, while doing a handstand! A brilliant performer, he has the audience clapping along with him whenever he appears.
Then we are mesmerized as beauty meets power with The Contortionist.
Rounding out the performances is Soliana Ersi. I read on her Bio that she “takes being flexible to a whole new level.” I’m going to add to that that her athleticism is Olympic level. Great physical control, settled breathing, and a popping blue costume elevates her act into a mystical experience. Might have been the champagne but I felt her relaxed and soulful energy.
With all this extraordinary talent, reinforced by exotic clothing, it encourages the inner diva in us all, a concept that the lovely couple, Frank and Mykey, seated behind me embraced in spaces. I dubbed them The Rocking Boys, and they immersed themselves with gusto into this unbelievable performance.
With two intermissions to top up on all that lovely champers (or whatever takes your fancy as the bar is well stocked) it was time for a desert giveaway. The winner gained the large red and white chocolate shoe, brimming with mixed berries and a side order of berry compote and cream. Mine was terrific, and what I and my dashing companion couldn’t consume, The Rocking Boys kindly finished off.
This really is a wonderful night out. At 120 minutes in duration, the entertainment continues with the Piano Bar, that rocks the venue until 01:30am.
Many thanks to Tierney Kelman from Common State for this opportunity.
Unleash that inner diva.
I know you want to.
Piper’s Playhouse @ Crown Melbourne (@pipersplayhouse.crown) • Instagram photos and videos
Piper’s Playhouse playing at 7:00 pm at CROWN until 26th March 2026.
